my summer of sand and rocks

My summer was a mix of san and rocks… sand for it’s fine as those sand,, rocks for its rough and hard (to say that its difficult)… why? It’s because of the so-called love.

Yes. I have loved and I can’t say that I’m not anymore… I still do… I just don’t know where and how it will end or if it will end.

End? Why do I want it to end?

Honestly, I don’t want it to end. It just happened that I have to let go of something that I really don’t want to lose.

Let go?

Let go. “What’s the point of holding on if the other one is not holding back?” I asked myself… then my sister said “its useless”. She answered me as simple as ABC. That’s why one has to let go.

Holding back?

How can you say that someone is holding? Is it the words they say? Or is it the actions they do? One can say that s/he loves you but still manage not to show it. One can say the three magic words but still do things that might hurt you. One can do things to you that can mean affection though it has no meaning at all rather you’re just giving meaning into them. It will only be better if words and actions would come together. However, it wouldn’t be simple for it’s a risk that one should take. No one can be sure that if once you start to hold on, it will be reciprocated. 

Reciprocated?

Does holding should be reciprocated? Can one hold without waiting for something? Nothing’s fair in this world. You cannot always get the things you gave. That’s reality. But one thing’s for sure. One can hold, get hurt, and still hold and hope. Time and the person itself only can tell when and how to let go or if that person will let go.

Time and person.

Yes. I perfectly know that I need to let go. You gave me enough reasons. But I know now is not the time ‘coz I, myself, doesn’t want to. I know you already did let go of me. But now what I need is the right time and the right reason for me to do it. 

Yes I still love you and I’m still holding on. But nothing could work if you’re already holding into something else. I was hurt but I won’t blame you for that rather I would like to thank you for giving me that summer of sand and rocks.